Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The easy life

MiniMck is undoubtedly like many other toddlers in that he is demanding, challenging, contrary, comical and cuddly.  Sometimes all at the same time.  MrsMck just told me about a phrase a friend of her used to describe her son, 'noise covered in muck', that sums him up perfectly.

Though there are many pitfalls to avoid to make life that little bit easier.

In no particular order, here are ten eleven situations or scenarios that it is usually best to avoid with MiniMck.

1. Mentioning the word TV or film in a conversation within earshot of MiniMck.  This results in a machine gun repetition of 'watch a little bit of telly, watch a little bit of telly...' which never seems to abate.  Until an hour or so later, forgotten by the adult, who has been lulled into a false sense of relief,  when it starts up again with even more vigour.

2. Introduce an activity that is physically tiring, such as dangling him by his feet upside down, chasing or throwing in the air etc.  After you drop to the floor with exhaustion you are met with a close up toddler face saying 'get up Daddy. Again! Again! Again!

3. 'Please sit down while I put your shoes on' seems to be translated in to toddler speak for 'Run away because I would really like to chase you.'

4. Have a conversation with your partner at the dinner table, 'Stop talking to Mummy, Daddy'

5. Say 'No'

6.  Have within his eyesight anything that bares resemblance to the cake, sweet or biscuit genre (I think this enhanced vision and sweet-tooth-radar has been passed on through MrsMck's genes)

7. When he asks for a snack never offer him a choice, because neither will be what he wants.  And when asked what he wants you receive the reply 'You choose Daddy'  or the equally vague ' I want... something.' This is a vicious circle in which I believe he is trying to create some new form of tautological rhetoric or branch of existentialism.

8.  When he asks what the thing moving in your bed is, do not tell him it the Backson (slighty scary creature from Winnie the Pooh).  This I did two months ago, he has not put his legs under our duvet since.

9. Leave the front door or back gate ajar.  The chase game is apparently even more thrilling if you can go running up the street towards the busy road.

10.  Be a cat in our house.  No matter what we say or try, our poor cats are invariably greeted with an ear piercing screech. When MiniMck and come downstairs in the morning to make a cup of tea and get a glass of milk, he doesn't even have to open his mouth.  The cats realise their few hours of solitude are over and fall over themselves racing to dive out of the cat flap first.

11. Do not leave him in his Little Helper Fun Pod within reach of a jar of Marmite

So what do we do.  We love him despite his foibles and eccentricities, We are parents, so actually we do sometimes do these things, who always wants the easy life? After all, life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.

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