Thursday, July 1, 2010

Where for art thou

Where for art thou my beamish boy.

I would like to know why, I expect there may be no answers. What has happened to my smiley littlechap I used to know. There seems to have been a sea change in him and his demeanour.

He has always been wilful, night times were, and still are, a daunting randomness of fitful sleep patterns, with us endlessly rocking, soothing and half awake cooing. This was all easy to bare, because come day time, he was a pleasure. Easy to smile, giggling, content to play or flick through books by himself. Not now.

For the last two weeks he has wailed and moaned, and often it seems for little or no reason. I am knackered, mummylimited even more so.

He has had a cold recently, and mostly shaken that off, I can't be certain, because he has been teething molars for the last week and has had the obligatory runny nose that accompanies it. 'Why didn't you mention that before', some might say, 'there's your reason'. But previously, teething has never changed his whole personality.

Paranoia has not helped (something else no one mentions about parenthood, a constantly massive sense of worry and fear about your child). Last week littlechap had two hefty knocks to his head, just the usual toddler slip ups. Although on that day, at bath time, he was doing this weird shaking thing and his bottom lip was all a quiver- it was possibly something to do with being overheated and then me giving him a tepid bath- but my mind did a little freaked out back flip. He's brain damaged!- my quiet inside voice told me (these irrational fears are best not shared with mummylimited, it only fans the flames of her even more paranoid fears).

Mummylimited and I want our beamish boy back.

Littlechap littlechap, where for art thou my littlechap?
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