Monday, November 22, 2010

12 weeks and counting

This weeks gallery prompt is Black and White. There are always so many fantastic photos and posts in the gallery so pop over to Sticky Fingers to view some more.

I'm sure MrsMck and I are not the only people who give nicknames to their yet to be born child, so say hello to Sticky Pea. The brother, or sister, of MiniMck, who is due to come into the world at the end of next May.

MiniMck's alias was Sticky Bean. He was given this name by his mum as soon as she had got a second positive test. Sticky Bean had been two years and three miscarriages in the making, so his name was not down to cuteness, but through MrsMck's belief that this time he was going to stick around. She was determined to have a positive attitude. And stick around he obviously did.

However, things were not always so black and white.

We learnt about MrsMck's second misscarriage during a scan. It had never crossed my mind that a scan could be a negative event, films and TV drams always show the positive side, the elation of parents. So we were not prepared for the shock and emptiness when the scan showed something, but something not moving. A small blimp, with no signature heartbeat. All our hopes were crushed. It seemed somehow worse, because we had seen the small beginnings of life, in black and white.

Since that day, I have accompanied MrsMck for four other scans, and we feel nervous every time. That instant grief will never go, but time, talking and having MiniMck have helped heal the wounds. Misscarriage is awful, but so much more common than people realise, sadly we are not a nation that shares or deals well with vulnerability, grief, tears or death.

Back in August, Louise Carpenter wrote an informative and insightful article on miscarriage, in the Observer, Miscarriage: a mother's last taboo. I suggest anyone with a passing interest should read it.

So we await the arrival of Sticky Pea, with a positive mind. MrsMck seems to finally be over her nausea, although as she pointed out, no amount of positive thinking could overcome feeling that ill!

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